Open with Riker setting up the current mission, which we will eventually learn is entirely periphery to the plot. Too bad.
However: Alien bug people (never seen) that the Federation REALLY wants to cut a deal with are extremely prickly about protocol. So much so that it has been forty years since the Federation dropped the ball by screwing up this one greeting and this is Star Fleets 'Big Chance' to try again.
Sure: Bug Aliens can be alien.
And the man upon whom an entire Generation of Federation Diplomats are hanging their careers?
Picard, who has been given three weeks (ish?) to master an incredibly alien sentence.
So: The Federation has had 40 fucking years to prepare for this moment, this chance to redeem themselves for the inexplicably devastating gaffe and instead of making sure they have appropriately elevate diplomats ready for when the bug aliens are ready the drop the entire load on a guy who, in all probability, had never even HEARD of these bug aliens until a month or so before he was expected to do what the Federation had failed to do forty years earlier?
Yeesh.
Anyway, cut to Picard going over the linguistics of the language with Troi, who clearly knows it already. So Either Picard is a much slower learner, or Troi just happens to have learned this one incredibly awkward alien language as a lark at some point. The show does not make it clear.
For some reason Picard is going over their weird spelling rules instead of just trying to phonetically memorize the sentence. Also, Picard admits to being a bad speller (I spell knife with an N, sayth the captain). Heh.
Troi advises him to stop cramming for the big exam and take a break. There is a grammatically odd sentence in there, "You've been looking forward to the upgrade of the Holodeck." which suggests that Picard is looking forward to tinkering with the hardware instead of exploring the recently upgraded Holodeck (Memory Alpha lore points out that one of the closing lines of Datalore (the next episode) was meant to set this episode up, so they were aired mildly out of order), but maybe that is mean of me to point out?
Picard says "Dixon Hill". I personally think they should have gone with an existing property rather than making up their own but unless you want deep thinking on the craft of writing I doubt you care so I'll spare you.
Anyway: This is, of course, THE Holodeck Episode, the one that defined the actual ability of the Holodeck, that established the format of episodes that were costume dramas and other genre bending. Previously we'd only seen limited use, nature scenes both good (Farpoint's jungle) and bad (Haven's desert rock), and its value as a training aide (Yar's akido sparring demonstration).
Picard enters the Holodeck, gets called Dixon Hill a few times, people comment on his 'Pyjamas', and the actual plot is set up before the opening title.
Some observations: Picard can't simply load up 'Dixon Hill', he has to get the computer to establish time and place (Sanfrancisco, Earth, 1941... AD), first. How odd.
Ignoring the exposition on the Holodeck, Picard's face as he walks into the set is one of childish wonder, as if he'd never used the Holodeck before.
Why exactly is the Holodeck programmed to see Picard as Dixon Hill, but also to see his Starfleet Uniform is not Dixon Hill's suit? Or that Data's android pale skin is unnatural, or Worf has a deformed forehead... not that either appear in this scene, but still. It seems to me you actually have to work harder at programming the computer to react to 'out of place' elements like that, and that they significantly reduce the utility of the Holodeck in such a diverse organization such as Star Fleet.
I mean, they rely on this weird quirk of the Holodeck for a lot of their busywork, gags and dialog setup, but it doesn't make much sense logically. Picard is NOT in 1941, he is in a computer generated simulation programmed by someone from his own time, adapted for use by people FROM HIS TIME. For that matter: Does the Enterprise have a massive costume department to outfit people just for holodeck adventures? Yes, Replicators.... but still.
Recurring ST theme: Interface design in the far future is not terribly user friendly. Explosive control panels begin merely the most dangerous example.
So, the Dame (Its a detective noir story, there is always a dame) says someone is trying to kill her and Roll Title.
Captain's Log,
Oddly this interrupts the scene in progress. I don't mind the Title interrupting the scene in progress, but tossing in the Captain's Log from one of only two characters in scene, as they do here, is frame breaking. There is the usual business with the Dame setting up the future murder mystery, and from the perspective of a pulp detective story its all pretty lame... so luckily we don't actually care about that part.
Interestingly, they set up the existence of the MacGuffin. Now, naturally the exact item the MacGuffin is tends to be reasonably unimportant to the plot, its important that people want it, yes? Only in this episode the MacGuffin is obviously part of the mystery, and one that is never, ever resolved. The Dame says 'Redblock thinks I have what he's looking for', and, Spoiler, later Redblock asks Picard for 'The Item', firmly establishing that the MacGuffin, in this case, is just... the MacGuffin.
Yes, I find that unreasonably amusing.
So, Exit scene, right?
Well, no. First there is some heavy duty framing for the purposes of a minor point of foreshadowing. The Dame gives Picard a c-note, walks out of his office, walks back into his office to pick up a business card. It only looks good because Picard stands there like a statue while she walks around him. In real life that sort of in and out work would lead to awkward moments of interaction.
All so that she can have one of his business cards for later... which I'll discuss in due time. No sense spoiling unnecessarily, I suppose.
Picard lingers in the Dixon Hill office for a long moment of indulgence which, unlike earlier, neatly masking the framing. Picard is admiring the scenery, and it looks like the director is showcasing the movie magic, but really it is to buy time for Picard to establish his exit while a Holodeck bad guy (Mr Leech?) shows up to more or less react to Picard's impossible exit.
Given the plot of the episode this actually fits more than the unreasonable reactions to Picards Onesie.
Picard, ever the fool, stops with one foot out of the Holodeck to apologize to, essentially a computer sprite for leaving him hanging (with the assumption that the scene would freeze on his exit until he resumed it...). Once he's gone, however, we see that the holodeck did not freeze, and that Mr Leech walks into the now empty office expecting to find Dixon Hill.
Clearly, in at least this regard, the Writers expect us to react better than the characters do to the Holodeck as program.
Picard walks around the ship with a smear of the Dame's lipstick on his face. Like Farpoint's case of Space Jesus being wet, this clearly violates the Holodeck's established rules (rules that are, in fact, plot relevant in this very episode!). The Lipstick is clearly a hologram creation of the Holodeck and should dissolve into nothing (light) the moment Picard leaves the 'Deck. Yes, that deprives us of a cute moment of embarrassing Picard, but its the hallmark of good writing to find a way to obey your own rules AND have the scenes you want to have. Hell, I put zero thought into this and I just came up with a simple fix: Move the lipstick scene to the Holodeck when Doc is there, in character, later in the episode. Presto!
More Evidence for the Idiot Boy-King Captain theory: Picard apparently calls staff meetings to brag about his Holodeck adventures. I like how everyone acts as if they'd never experienced this 'Holodeck' for themselves. Now, we can presume that this was not a minor upgrade, but the result of switching from an old Pong machine to a PS4, or the equivalent, but seriously? I know... I know, its for the audience benefit, even the Data-xposition about those mysterious Automobiles, but I find it hard to believe Picard was the first of the senior staff to look out a holodeck window and see cars. Hell, Space Jesus is there (for some reason), and we know he goes skiing on the Holodeck, among other things.
Anyway, Doc eventually stands up and wipes off Picard's errant lipstick while Riker leans back with a knowing smile, one of many, many subtle innuendoes about the various uses the Holodeck has seen just in this season. Picard, unconcerned with his lipstick stain, goes on to try and set up a date with Doc in the Holodeck, cockblocked by Data and some dude we've never seen before, Whelan.
Mind you: PICARD offers to take Whelan (who is not in the scene), so it is really Doc who gets... vag-blocked... here. Picard can't even flirt properly?! Get him space drunk, he's much more smooth when he's space drunk.
Watching Doc in this scene is actually awesome. I mean, as far as acting goes, I guess its pretty broad comedy, but its still well executed. You can clearly see her frustrated crush in every progressing reaction shot and her snippets of dialog, and Picard is oblivious.
Suddenly: Picard recalls that this is a Staff Meeting, literally derailing all the dialog he'd been spewing to talk about the upcoming bug alien meeting (haradran?). You can see how much importance they gave to this plot device by the structure of the scene. Riker reveals it was a twenty year rift, which is why I should avoid spoiling episodes, I guess... there is a stock phrase rolled out to help build plot tension that I've heard in a few episodes now 'Strategically Important', which is never fully explained.
Hawaii is strategically important the the United States because it is a warm water port in the middle of a vast and mostly empty ocean, allowing for open water dominance of the Pacific. Crimea is Strategically Important to the Russians because it controls access to the Baltic Sea, and thus transportation into the heartland of central asia. Haradran is strategically important to the federation because.... plot. Lazy.
Now, this is a bit early in the series, but as they go on and on about how important it is for the Captain to say this 'Without a single mistake', and Data is right there... why does no one even suggest Data simply recite the greeting with his machinelike precision in Picard's voice? I mean, the eventual meeting with the Haradran is conducted by voice only, and even if it wasn't surely their photoshop skills are mad-733t in the 24th century? This will be 'plot relevant' eventually, for a sub plot not even the writers care about.
Meeting Adjourned. By my count we enter scene with Picard going on about the Holodeck already, and this continues for a full two minutes, while the part of the scene while they talk about the Haradrans is only one minute. Even if we literally opened the moment Picard opened his mouth, that's twice as much time on bragging as actual work.
Data even brings that up, indirectly, while walking with LaForge in the hall the next scene. Amusingly a Uniform Skirt is following them in the hall. Woman again, seeing less of the man-Skirts, thank god. The purpose of this scene appears to be to give Data an excuse to both mention his Sherlock Holmes fascination and to develop an interest in Dixon Hill. Padding in other words. Data goes on to review all of the works of Dixon Hill, again establishing how fast he reads. I am vaguely troubled by these little scenes, but not enough to explore in detail.
Captain's Log, establishing 11 hours to the rendezvous. I'm not entirely clear on Picard's time management skills based on this episode. I mean, 11 hours is long enough to permit a brief diversion, but Picard makes no attempt to leave the holodeck until the 11th hour. That strikes me as negligent behavior.
We meet Whelan, who is established to be a historian. Now, I can get why a historian might enjoy using the Holodeck to live history as well as they can recreate it, but why this is a special case is never really clear to me. They aren't actually going to the past, and Whelan literally can learn nothing new about the 20th century (new to him, perhaps... but that would make him a shitty historian of 20th century earth, now wouldn't it?... also: Why does the Enterprise have a historian aboard? Never mind. Whales.)
Doc isn't going in with them, for reasons that are never explained beyond scene framing, but for some reason Picard is creeped out by Data attaching himself to the date. Lolwut? I think there was something cut in editing here. When Data appears in costume Picard looks seriously peeved, like Doc did when Picard invited Whelan earlier almost, yet once Data makes his pitch, its collar popping and 'lets go'. It feels like a reaction shot is missing here.
Anyway, while Picard reads a newspaper, Data breaks verisimilitude of the scene to exposit about Dimaggio's baseball streak, and again the simulation reacts to this anachronistic behavior...why? Well, it allows us to establish the gag that Data is from South America, I guess. Its almost like they want this to be a time travel episode more than a Holodeck episode, right?
Naturally the newspaper also contains a news story of The Dame, who was murdered. This sets up the two palookas who show up to harass Picard about his business card. Sigh.
Yes, that really obvious bit of framing was simply to set up that the police suspect Dixon Hill (a former cop, I believe... according to the episode, and a private detective by trade, with no personal or social connection to the victim), is a suspect because she... had his business card? I mean, leaving aside how flimsy that excuse is, there are about twenty fucking ways to handle it better, including simply not showing her taking the card at all but simply assuming she had one. Its just... clunky, foreshadowing the trivial.
Anyway, before the Palookas arrive, Picard gets genuinely upset that he didn't stop the murder (lol), and Whelan points out that, you know, this is only a simulation, right?
Anyway: Palookas, business with Data, going downtown for the crime of handing out business cards to future murder victims and scene!
Bridge, Riker in command, clearly. An unknown probe believed to be from the Harada, and like so many mysterious alien probes it shakes the starship and sends weird glowing lights through the halls. Sigh.
Only this time it causes various control panels to go wonky too, like the Turbolift doors... and, OMG... the Holodeck! Not the Holodeck?!! Not while important named characters are using it!! Oh NOES!!
Seriously: how bad is Federation technology that every random alien probe sends their computers buggy in potentially lethal ways?
Anyway: So eleven hours early the Haradan make contact. For a people so hung up on exactitude of protocol they have an awfully lose grasp of punctuality. Also, is it my imagination or do the Haradran talk with a vaguely stereotypical Chinese accent? Racist we much?
Riker sends LaForge to the holodeck because.... communicators don't work? I don't know.
Cue Doc checking her nylons before entering. Timing error? No, the doors are clearly goofy, but she gets in anyway, so its more a plot convenient bug that lets her in, but won't let anyone out... or anyone else in for that matter. Anyway: Doc struggles in cliched Hollywood fashion with high heels and Data channels Bug's Bunny. That aside I rather enjoy the reactions of the crew to the simulation. Gates MacFadden sells a certain almost childish glee at the game that feels completely natural, and Stewart switching from Picard as Hill to just Picard is as accomplished as anything he does. Picard is clearly enjoying the simulation but can't help breaking character to talk about it... to the simulation!
Cut to LaForge and the malfunctioning door of plot. LaForge says something curious "I can't find the captain", which should not be technically true or accurate. He can't get TOO the captain. This will be compounded later, by Space Jesus.
Anyway, LaForge says he can't open the doors, and here we have our first major case of 'Plot-itis'. Surely on a space ship, especially a part time warship, they would have purely mechanical means of opening doors in case of system failure? Crowbars? Welding torches? May I remind the humble reader that this isn't a matter of telling Picard his Tea is ready, its a once in twenty year chance to accomplish an act of 'Strategic Significance'! A little damage to the door is a negligible problem in the face of mission failure in even far lesser cases.
But, Plot Tension!
Riker's Log:
So, Riker heads down to the Holodeck, which marks the second major incident of his assuming his presence will make engineers work better (the first being Naked Now). Space Jesus hops up to explain that he (naturally?) has read every single technical manual on Holodecks in, like, ever. Riker upbraids Space Jesus before Troi points out that Doc is SJ's momsie, and also trapped.
For some reason I kept expecting SOMEONE to point out that Riker's place was on the bridge, as acting captain. Silly me, I forget that Picard isn't restricted to the bridge because he's the captain, but because he's like an idiot child, forever poking beehives and otherwise mucking shit up.
As Riker takes Space Jesus with him, Troi gives a catbird smile, clearly pleased at her ability to manipulate Riker into getting rid of Space Jesus for a while.
Back to Good Cop, Bad Cop with Picard as the dummy in the middle. Picard apparently 'needs to get our of here' either suggesting he has been interrogated for several hours (he's only told them everything twice), or his time management skills are much better than the Haradrans.
Doc continues trying to emulate the 1941 ere hooker (or whatever) in the police station, badly, while some out of focus extra in a cop uniform leers at her in the background. The Extra leans into focus with some dialog and... a stick of gum? Well, I guess its a bit of 'fish out of water' business for padding, as Doc swallows the stick of gum awkwardly before we cut back to Riker and Space Jesus.
Riker asks stupid obvious question (Have you tried the intercom), which is actually pretty realistic, then he tries said intercom regardless of the answer, which again seems realistic to me.
Space Jesus, clearly realizing that LaForge has yet to grasp the seriousness of the situation dives for the control panel and begins looking at things with a device. Hey, its a subtle bit that LaForge may have been working on said panel but has no use for the device because VISOR, so I'll forgive Space Jesus's wordless panic effort.
Riker, naturally, proves useless.
Back to Picard/Hill, still in interrogation. Mostly this is so he can LEAVE the interrogation room, so its bad padding. Still there is a fun line about how if he leaves town, town leaves with him, which just sounds awesome. Anyway: Good cop gives Picard a cigarette, which again has me questioning the programmers of this Holodeck, though I suspect this scene is to established the enlightenment of 24th century humankind (non-smokers, of course), and Picard continues his in and out of character schtick.
So, Picard walks out and is stunned by Doc. Not, you know 'phasers on stun' stunned, but ZOMG stunned. I think this was the first scene in the series where I realized that Gates MacFadden has a really girly pitch to her voice a lot of the time. I think the writers were all over the map with her character, the mature sensible doctor and mother, the schoolgirl crush on Picard... it must have been at least mildly frustrating for MacFadden to have to bounce through these wildly different takes on the same character, but unlike Crosby and Sirtis I can't recall her ever complaining about her role.
Anyway, Picard finally remembers he wants in Doc's Onesie, which is inconsistent with his earlier scenes with her, but whatever.
Anyway: Bad writing leads to odd framing. Picard has established that its time for him to leave the Holodeck and get back to work, which is fair enough. This means Doc has to push the idea of getting to the Dixon Hill office to set up the next major scene, which means Picard has to ignore the fact that he has to get back to work to agree with her.
A better way to handle that would be to either NOT have Picard worrying about time just yet (he has no idea the super protocol obsessed Haradrans have inexplicably moved the timetable up by several hours), OR for them to try and leave and discover the malfunction, thus giving them freedom/reasons (I Know the door in my office works, lets try there) to go to the office. Here we have a clear, awkward motivational zig-zag going on.
Anyway: Now Whelan cock blocks the Captain (turnabout is fair play, I suppose, though in this case Doc is also getting Vag-blocked, making her 0 for 2 this episode). The Reaction shots sell it, of course, but Data is still channeling his weird Bugs Bunny character.
Back to Riker, still commanding the Enterprise from a random hallway. LaForge exposited that Space Jesus thinks it was the Haradan probe (you don't say?), and that somehow that will make the malfunction harder to locate. lolwut? Technology we much?
I know, maybe the Probe carried the malfunction away with it, so they'll have to track it down and capture it to get their malfunction back? That couldn't be any more gibberish than what LaForge actually said. In fact, knowing the CAUSE of the malfunction (the probe) should make locating the SOURCE (the error in the hardware/software) easier to find, not harder. To simplify: if I smash your watch with a hammer, you won't waste time trying to replace the battery to make it work again.
Meanwhile: At Dixon Hill's office, Leech is waiting for them, upset that they've been avoiding him. Rather than point out that they've had a long boring wait in a police waiting room or interrogation room (depending on which character is speaking, of course), they blow him off until he points a gun at him. I have to assume its some sort of callback to film noir history that this is framed with only Mr Leech 'in scene', with the other characters (on the same set, clearly) on the other side of the dividing wall/door. The Camera pans over to the other side where we can see Mr Leech and his gun through said door, along with everyone grinning foolishly as they raise their hands to play along.
Mr Leech reveals that he is a barely restrained sociopath, since he is pointing the gun at them because 'I am not a man to be toyed with', when in reality he has merely been kept waiting in an office waiting room while the man he wanted to see was out, hardly any definition of toying.
He then says "You were hired to find an object and I demand to know what you've done with it".
Which, what?
When? WHO?
The Dame mentioned the "an Item", but Hill was hired to prevent her murder by figuring out who was trying to kill her, which, of course, he failed miserably at (despite having 'frozen' the program...). At no point was he hired to find 'The Object', which is clearly the MacGuffin.
Now yes; The program may clearly be running a longer more complex story than what Picard is interacting with, since it clearly did NOT freeze when he asked it to (Thus the Dame's murder between holodeck scenes), and clearly Hill's character should have been doing 'Stuff' with regards to the Object during that time when he was not actually present, or something...
... but that assumes first that the Dixon Hill simulation is based entirely off of a written work, and not an extrapolation. As Data read every Dixon Hill story and has not mentioned which one they are in, that is clearly not the case (as he does when using Sherlock Holmes simulations), so this is an extrapolated expansion based on Dixon Hill. Further, it is clear that the Simulation interacts with the players within it, thus should not be running events that have not happened involving said players. Thus, Dixon Hill literally did not do anything at all, in the simulation, between the Dame leaving his office and meeting the cops at the newspaper stand. Thus, Dixon Hill was never hired to find any object, and could not possibly be suspected by Mr Leech to have it. Even if we assume the Dame's ulterior motive was actually to get Dixon to find the object for her, she failed miserably in that manipulation by utterly dismissing the object in question when she spoke with Dixon/Picard.
Thus, what Mr Leech says is entirely random gibberish, in context.
Whelan mugs for the camera (Mr Leech), and puts on his own palooka act, so Leech shoots him. Well, I never liked that character anyway, so good riddance.
Of course, being that the Holodeck is supposed to be safe, this gets people's attention right quick. At last, after hours of being trapped, they realize that something is wrong! Plot Tension!!!
ok, so there is a cute bit where Doc applauds Whelan's dramatic shot reaction before realizing he really was shot. Its the little pleasures I find in the show that makes it tolerable.
Picard plays action hero, knocking Mr Leech's gun away and hitting him. Mr Leech give a 'how dare you!' as he flee's the office while Doc plays.. doc. Not a ding on the show, but I've always found that attitude offensive.. the "I just shot your friend, but how dare you hit me" thing. I don't know if anyone ever does that in real life, though I imagine some variation of it does play out in less dramatic circumstances, and I despise it. Eh. I guess Mr Leech is supposed to be unlikable with his sweat and his bad villain accent.
So, Whelan is dying and they need to get him to sickbay, so Tension! Because they are trapped!
I might take this moment to mention that ANY of the three other characters in the scene would have been far more appropriate to create dramatic tension. Sure, buying Data being hurt by a mere bullet is a little hard to swallow, but we at least notionally care about the character's well being. Doc is a woman and an established character, complete with one of the more complex relationship maps of any character (all of two, really, but only half the main characters get even 1, so...), and Picard is both the captain (and most charismatic actor they've got) AND is necessary for the whole Haradran plot to play out.
Whelan? Never heard of him before this episode, and we'll never see him after. Sure, that means we believe his character CAN die, but only because no one cares about his fate... a catch-22, I suppose. I wonder if Leech's gun was a 22? It was a bit weedy, but I suspect a .32, maybe a Walther.
Anyway: Why can't Data see the seams of the Hologram to find the doors, knowing where to look? Farpoint established that his vision is somewhere between ordinary human and LaForge's VISOR, so this should be within his abilities? He is strong enough to force a door, as we've seen before. Ah well.
Doc points out that she's 'loosing his pulse'. Hmm. Gut shot, assuming the major artery by the liver was hit, twenty minutes to bleed out, in agonizing pain. Otherwise you're talking death by Sepsis, a much longer, and possibly more agonizing death. Its been at most a minute, so... no.
I note that Picard seems to think he can pull rank on the malfunction, shouting how he is the captain, dammit!
Riker has at last returned to the bridge, pacing the deck. Yar was in his seat for some unexplained reason, so she leave it so he can sit down. Bridge Protocol is weird but clearly well established for the characters, if not the audience. Riker keeps harassing LaForge to hit that plot tension with all he's got.
Back to Dixon's Office, Doc pacing while Picard and Data explore the walls for the door (Picard clearly knows where that particular door is, so why explore an unrelated corner???)
This is, of course, only framing to start the scene. Doc rushes back to her patient while Data exposits all the plot points we already know, only stupider. Doc asks for light, Data carries a lamp across the room, not understanding power cables, which Picard clearly does (he plugs the lamp back in while Data looks at the lamp curiously. This inconsistency of knowledge is one of the more puzzling, if least aggravating quirks of the character in writing). Note that Data doesn't merely glance at the lamp, but actually spends several long moment looking up under the shade, clearly puzzled, and not apparently noticing what Picard does to get the light back on. It is childish, yes, and Data can be childish, but it is also TECHNOLOGY, which Data does get. There are clearly power conduits on the enterprise, so the federation has not gone to straight up magic Energy Beam technology. Whatever.
Anyway, at that moment Leech comes back with Cyrus Redblock and a nameless thug. Leech works for Redblock, in case that was unclear from my recap. Redblock continues to assume Hill has "It", which is slightly more forgivable this time, since no one explained to Leech that they didn't in the last scene (quite the opposite).
To me Cyrus Redblock is almost an accidental grasp for greatness in villain design that just misses the mark. I don't actually think the writer (Tracy Torme in this case) set out to create a memorable Star Trek Villain for the Dixion Hill simulation, but sort of assembled a pastiche of Pulp Detective and Film Noir baddies to create Cyrus as a disposable one off. The result is almost, but not quite, impressive and memorable. Cyrus has the marks of a fascinating and deep character, but handled broadly and shallowly, if that makes sense. In a way he makes a curious metaphor for the Harada, in that he is almost obsessive about decorum and propriety, while still being clearly a thuggish bad guy willing to do anything to get his way. He's going to search Dixon Hill's office at gunpoint, but he'll ask politely for permission first. But, again, I don't think it was deliberate... and that lack of deliberation in his design cripples him as a character.
Curiously, Redblock is really solicitous of Mr Leech, going out of his way to ensure Mr Leech gets revenge for being struck, and catering to Mr Leech's murderous lusts, which almost makes Redblock subordinate to his flunky. This is where more consideration in the writing might have helped. So Leech strikes Picard, leaving him with a bloody lip that looks remarkably like the lipstick stained lip from the beginning of the episode. Then Good Cop shows up, pointlessly, to be taken captive as well. Well, not entirely pointlessly, but in good time.
They give Good Cop a LOT of lines throughout this scene. Since he's just a holodeck simulation from 1941, however, none of them are really relevant to Star Trek, so I'm gonna ignore them.
Data steps up to make a comment about etiquette and punching people, and I thought we were gonna get an awesome back and forth about ethics and protocol between Cyrus and Data, but no... this is a setup for another South America gag, followed by Picard attempting to explain the Holodeck to Redblock and Co.
And you wonder why I think he's a dummy?
This is a good two or three minutes of the scene, and it goes no where towards advancing the plot, and eventually Cyrus has Doc threatened by Mr Leech to convince "Dixon Hill" to expose the 'Object'.
Oddly, Picard makes it a condition of the deal (revealing an Object that... I'm at a loss to even explain how he would view it at this point... lets say that he is bluffing about and leave it at that), in return for Cyrus Redblock helping him save Mr Whalen's life. Now, since the problem with Mr Whalen is that they are trapped on the Holodeck, unable to get to sick bay, and Redblock is a pure holodeck creation unable to even conceive of the truth, how, exactly, is Redblock supposed to help?
Oh, sure: Picard could as for Redblock's help getting Whalen to a Holodeck, 1941 era hospital, under the notion that it is far better than Dixon Hill's Office Floor, but he never tries that, so no points for the peanut gallery suggestion.
Its a stupid deal that makes less sense than the damn MacGuffin!
Back to the Bridge.
Riker fails at Diplomacy. A quick riff through memory lane shows me that Riker only succeeds at Diplomacy... with his DICK!
And since the Harada are apparently bugs and not sexy alien chicks, Riker makes rude demands for respect and gets shot down by feedback. hah.
Of course, one can easily imagine that Riker just offended the Harada right there, and set back relations another 20 years, but that doesn't happen because the entire scene was meant merely to re-establish (AGAIN) that they need to get the Captain off the Holodeck. Sigh.
Which leads us to the single, stupidest moment in all of Season One so far, and that's saying something.
LaForge Calls the bridge, explaining the Space Jesus has done 'His thang' and they may now attempt a rescue. Space Jesus begins to technobabble about bi-converters, but Riker cuts it off (Thank god!) and wants the short form.
The Short Form? No matter what they do there is a fifty/fifty chance that everyone on the Holodeck with dematerialize along with the simulation if they force the door.
That, right there, is weapon's grade stupid. You can kill people with stupid that dense from fifty meters, by accident. It is stupid so dense that you could use shaped explosives to make it go supercritical and wipe out a small Japanese city.
Everything on the Holodeck is made up of coherent light, if we use the term hologram as our root literally. If not then it is simulated matter given temporary existence using a version of transporter technology, held stable by emitters built into the deck, which is why nothing (not the water on Space Jesus in Farpoint or the lipstick on Picard in this episode) can leave the Holodeck permanently.
Everything, that is, except the people who walked into the Holodeck in the first place. They are not sustained by the Holofield, which is why they can leave.
If the simulation crashes, for any reason what so ever, than you'd have four people standing (or bleeding in Whalen's case) in the middle of an empty room with black walls and floor. This is actually a minor medical problem for Whalen, as the bullet in his gut might be helping stem the bleeding, and when it dematerializes he may start to die faster, though it is a boon to Doc, as she doesn't need to pull it out.
Now, we MIGHT postulate that the holofield has, over several hours, begun to affect the real matter brought into the deck, destabilizing it somehow, but that only opens several dozen cans of worms regarding basic safety regulations and how to get such people off the deck after they've crossed that threshold, which never come up and thus can be safely rejected (well, not the safety regulations argument, as Star Fleet is clearly violating OSHA standards with a will that verges on sadistic).
In short, Space Jesus's statement could only be viewed as relational to Star Trek if Holodecks were some sort of extra dimensional bubble dimension, and not a room with some fancy electronics in it. The problem there is that Star Fleet clearly does not have that technology, and would probably not use it for Holodecks if they did (well...maybe...), and stands in a direct contradiction to everything we've ever been told about Holodecks.
So, Space Jesus is clearly fucking with LaForge and Riker, since it is obvious that most Star Fleet officers, even engineers like LaForge, have almost no clue how anything actually works... and since we can suppose that not even Space Jesus would risk his mother's life on a coin toss.
Still in Hill's office, Picard is explaining Sick Bay and computers to Redblock. Still? Again?
Sigh.
This is just set up as Space Jesus messes with the program. I'm sticking with the practical joke theory here, as he takes them (including for no reason whatsoever, Redblock, Leech and the rest of the Hill Simulation, but only the ones in the office), to the middle of a badly FX'd blizzard. This lasts about five seconds and they are back in the office with fake snow on them. Then the door opens.
This leads, almost unnecessarily, to Picard 'tricking' Redblock and Leech into walking out of the Holodeck to de-rezz. For some reason they did a really bad job with the FX editing here. I mean, Transporters and double layering film to 'erase people' were thirty year old techniques at least, by this point, yet for some reason... and I recall this clearly from the original airing too, when Redblock and Leech stand in the (empty!) hallway and start to dematerialize, they are out of focus. Question: Where is LaForge, Space Jesus and the nameless technical mooks?
Never mind that suddenly the odds went from three men with guns vs three men and one woman without to one man with a gun vs thee men (+1w)... so it is easy enough to escape the last gunman (the one with clear orders to kill them, giving them no reason to play along, I note. Another curious aspect of TV, I find...)..
It falls to Data, who in theory could have defused the gun situation much earlier. He pinches the barrel shut on the gun, then oddly asks permission from Picard before punching out the hologram gunman. Could be a programming tic, a habit, but it still seems oddly out of place since there are exactly zero repercussions to punching out a simulation at the end of a malfunctioning program just before they leave.
Picard has to order Data (for some reason) to pick up the dying man and take him to sick bay, and Data is more worried about what Picard is going to do.
And what is Picard going to do? Why... he is going to have a long and tender conversation with the computer simulation that just found out that he isn't real, while they ponder... what IS the inverse of Solipsism anyway?
Again: Picard lingers on the clearly malfunctioning, and unsafe, Holodeck that he's been wanting to leave for the last... call it an hour... to get back to his duties, so he can provide some emotional support to a fictional character about his pending unreality. It might feel a bit deeper if they'd done a better job establishing a rapport with this character (They tried too, I know, but it was rushed and sloppy and never quite sealed the deal), but frankly it is pointless.
It also means they can't use the logically quickest way to save Whelan, and that is to use the Holodeck to create an emergency Sick Bay, so Doc can do her thing Right Away, instead of "A Few Minutes from Now". Sure, there are some interesting theoretical issues with that, such as what happens to holodeck IV fluids once they've been absorbed by the body and turned into replacement blood (assuming he stayed there long enough), but stopping the bleeding and using various energy wave devices (that they do have) to patch the holes should still work just fine, and sutures and the like could be brought from the Real Sickbay so they could transport him safely without relapsing... ditto IV bags and replacement blood supplies.
That isn't even discussing the wild idea of having the Holodeck patch the hole and replace the missing blood with Holotechnology while medical supplies and personnel are brought down to take the now fully stable, health (but trapped) Whelan in a stable manner to sickbay... assuming that level of fine control is possible.
Nope: its more important to tell a computer program that, hey, you know? Nothing wrong with being unreal guy. Maybe you're equally unreal wife and kid are waiting for you at your unreal home? No? Well... um... bye?
Then we get to the real payoff of the episode: Having Patrick Stewart, a renown Shakespearean Actor with more chops than the rest of the cast combined, spent thirty seconds reciting the most deliciously horrific gibberish ever heard on television as loudly as he possibly can.
The Harada apparently are all about having one basket for their eggs, since this single greeting is all they wanted. A new day dawns between their peoples. Seriously, I take it that Haradan Laberynths are just a big open room where the Minotuar stands with his ax, and their version of a deadly obstacle course is that laser trap room from Resident Evil, and just that one room. Sure, its lethal and almost impossible to beat from the inside, but once you've done it, you're home free.
Data, still in his soot suit sits at the conn and starts to do his character bit before being cut off by Picard. Apparently this is so Picard can do a Sean Connery take on his Make It So with 'Shtep on it' instead.
And Episode.
So, aside from being not very much a Star Trek episode, given that the mission plot is entirely subsumed by the Holodeck Plot, and that radioactive chunk of stupid from Space Jesus, how was the episode?
Eh. It is not on my favorites list, in any real sense. Not my favorite Holodeck Episode, not my favorite Season One episode... not even my favorite Picard episode (A Low Bar to Cross, no matter how you slice it), but it isn't painfully bad in the way Haven was. Its got almost no Utopianist baggage, which is a relief... even if you count the smoking, which was so low key that you shouldn't, that still gives it far less screen time for moralizing than any episode to date.
I suppose at some point I should put together more formal looks at the Holodeck (as I intend with Q and Picard's Brain), and with the Picard/Crusher relationship that never goes anywhere, but I'm more curious to look for signs of Space Jesus as practical joker. I could probably make a fucking career out of spotting times where the show contradicted its own science (lipstick smears from the Holodeck...), but who'd pay me for that?
No one, that's who.
So, back to the salt mines for me!
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